Friends

I was thinking today how blessed I am that I have spent 6 days in the past month with different girlfriends out having a girl day and we have had a blast.  I have some wonderful friends.....some I have known for most of my adult life and a couple others, only a short time.  I have a great new BFF who is my knitting bud, whose picture is posted on a previous post and we feel like we were born sisters.  We find ourselves often starting a conversation concerning the same subject and at the same time many times and we have only really known each other for about a year and a half!

Well I had lunch at a long time friend's house yesterday and she graced me with the dress I have shown a picture of....!  I love this new dress.......so cute.

Proverbs 17:17 says "A friend loves at all times" and I hope and pray that I will be a true friend to my friends.  They mean so much to me and the older I get, the more precious that time spent with them becomes.

I need some ideas on something to knit to match this dress.....I couldn't wait to try it on and didn't really match it up with what I was wearing before taking the pictures last night but it still is so pretty!

On another note, I love my dogs as well and talk about a friend!!!  and below you will see something I ran across today and I want IT!!!!!

Isn't that the cutest thing you've ever seen!  and guess what.....I have two dogs about this same size. Too bad I built my kitchen without this built-in....lol!  okay on to Christmas....later.

Grieving Parent's Grief

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.......Psalms 147:3

This is a picture of my beautiful daughter, Nickole who died on October 25, 1993.  Today in the midst of the  grief we, as a country, are going through over the tragedy in Newtown CT, I have decided to blog about what it feels like in the days, weeks and years after your child dies.  Many of you reading this, may have experienced this yourself in varying degrees and ways but for those who have not, maybe this will in some way help you to remember these families when others may not.

I will tell you later in the blog about the "how" my daughter died.  Right now, I'd like for you to understand some of the things these parents have facing them.  Reality.....it takes many days for this to sink in.  I remember when the sun came up the first day after my daughter's death, asking God how the sun could just rise.  I remember school buses coming down the street, and thinking how can they just go on as if nothing happened.  Your entire world has ceased to exist in the way that you know it and the world just seems to go on as if nothing happened.  It's a very lonely feeling you see because even others who are grieving for your child are not experiencing your grief.  Your grief is your own.

There is such a churning on your insides and a pain down in the very pit of your being that cannot be consoled.  I think this is where God's grace comes in.....in those places that you don't even recognize or know about until you need it.  Since so much time has passed, I can reflect now and understand that without HIM, I would not have made it but at the time, I was very skeptical.

It would be a waste of my time and yours to try to get you to understand the pain.  Only if you've experienced it would you be able to understand it.   My purpose of blogging on this is to help us all to keep these families lifted up in prayer and if my post can help you remember at a time when you may have forgotten, then my purpose will have been accomplished as they have so much ahead of them and so many different things to go through.

As I was watching the news, they were saying late into that fatal night that the children were still in the school and there would be no time set for their bodies to be removed.  Grief came over me for a totally different reason and that is that the parents felt helpless to help their child, although at that point, there would be no help.  It's your nature to do everything you possibly can for the child and they could not reach them.  Authorities do everything they can to shield a parent from seeing anything that would be burned into their brain as they deal with these sort of things and they know it would be too much to bare.  As a parent, you still just want to help.

This would be just one of many things they were going through.

My story?   Nickole committed suicide by getting in my own car in my own garage and turning the motor on and then turning the motor off.  BUT, it ran long enough to fill the garage with carbon monoxide and take her life.  I'm not going into much more detail in this blog post except to say that when we found her, her body was still warm and my husband removed her from the car, had me call 911 tried to shield me from anything else that would happen.  I did see her laying on the driveway and for years after that I saw the same thing every time I stepped outside my home.

So I know that whatever these parents saw first will be remembered for a very long time.  They will not see the pictures you and I are looking at of the beautiful children.   When they lay down to sleep, they will dream of their children's deaths much more than their lives for a very long time.

Today, I just say pray.......pray every time you think of it.  Just ask God to give them what they need because we don't even know what all that entails.  Join with me in prayer for these families.

Bronna

Girlfriends, Girlfriends, Girlfriends!!!

This is my new Picot Lace Hat & my Horseshoe Lace Scarf which were inspired by "Larisa" on Ravelry.  My friend, KnittingDivaGirl (Dawn) are trouble when we get on the telephone on a Saturday and wonder around the pages of Ravelry upon which one or both of us find a knitting project that  the yarn MUST be purchased right now.  Funny because when we first started doing this, we happened upon many a yarn that had been discontinued, at which Dawn would exclaim, "that's been discontinued, you can't find that!"

We are both kind of natured in the way that you probably should not tell us we can't have something....heehee!  While on the telephone looking at these two projects, low and behold, I found the yarn and then she found more and we had the yarn ordered before we could say goodbye!

Of course, we were both working on knitting projects that had to be put aside because these two things were added must haves to our knitting projects and we needed it right now!  If you're an avid knitter and you're reading this blog, I know you get it!  so......I just want to say how much fun it is to knit with a best friend.  There is nothing in the world like it.  Without her permission because she's not home, I'm going to post her picture as well as a couple more of mine on the bottom of this blog and hope you enjoy!

Happy Thanksgiving! and my blog about FEAR!

I decided to post these paintings that are currently in a little shop in Reidsville NC called MishMosh for sale...these are my paintings and just a reminder that you are only limited in your life by your thoughts.  I never took an art class and never even knew I could paint until visiting a neighbor and a friend who had taken painting classes and I sat down with a book and drawing pad and was amazed that I could actually draw.  I was in my late 50's and began painting and learning and loving it.

My fifties proved to be rewarding for me where I learned several things I never thought I would -  like getting my motorcycle license.  So I decided to write a blog about FEAR and how it keeps us from doing things in our life that we could be thoroughly enjoying.

When you're a small child you learn about the world through your reactions -- mainly from your reactions to your parents.  The world is a scary  place.  You hear your parents arguing and it frightens you.  You hear scary sounds.  You hear the wind and the rain and you shiver in fear, you hear your parents worrying about bills and you recoil in fear.  You hear strange noises in the night, you hear frightening sounds that you don't understand, your infantile mind shrinks in confusion and terror -- you feel or perceive that the world is a strange and scary place.  I remember my daughter had such a fear of bugs, I promise I think she could see a gnat at night!

You cry to be comforted and you may or may not be comforted.  If no comfort comes,  your reaction may be that there is something wrong with you and you feel unlovable and unloved and not cared for.  You are terrified.  You are alone and afraid....in a world that you do not understand. You are seeing from a different perspective.

The crux of that is that you respond to your infantile perceptions as though they were actual experiences.  You do not differentiate infantile perceptions from actual experiences.  What you perceive and react to become experiences.  These experiences sift down into your unconscious.  Later in life, situations that you may encounter mirror your infantile "experiences".  These infantile experiences become embedded in your unconscious.  They stay with you.  They affect and color your entire life.  They influence everything you do throughout your life, although you might never be aware of it.

In other words, your reactions and experiences as an infant may very well influence you during your entire life.  I know mine did and so did those of my daughter.   In a strange way, your infantile experiences may influence everything you do in later life.  Your infantile perceptions may stay with you during your entire adult life.  The spouse you pick, the profession you choose, the food you prefer, where you live, may very well be influenced by your infantile perceptions, experiences that have remained with you...."leftover" perceptions (experiences) from infancy.  These are all very true and real.

To put it bluntly, for many of us, one of the biggest components in our lives may be unrecognized and unconscious FEAR ---- residual fear buried deep in our unconscious----remnants from a terrified infancy.

I challenge you today to breakout and break bad and shake loose some of the FEAR that restrains you from doing something new in your life and what a better time than through the season that brought about new to a different level through the person of Jesus Christ who made all things new, the same yesterday, today and forever!

Oh Happy Day!

Good news today from the plastic surgeon who removed a place on my face this week and 1 on my leg....the place on my face was a "basil cell carcinoma" but she got it all on Monday and the place on my leg was "sun damage".  It's so strange what your mind goes thru when they do these things and then waiting on the pathology report.  I was telling my husband, I think being human just causes you to worry even if you're praying and thinking you're really okay.

Just reflecting this week about some of the things that bring me so much pleasure (besides knitting, of course) and these ferns were purchased very early this year because of the fabulous spring weather we had here in North Carolina.  I have already thoroughly enjoyed them....they are called "Macho Ferns" and they are the first I've ever had.  They don't shed which gives them a big thumbs up from me but they are absolutely gorgeous!

So pretty, I just wanted to share a couple of pictures along with my great news!

Swing Coat

Love this swing coat because it's pretty, comfortable and looks great with my leggings and boots and of course, because I knitted it!  It's so much pleasure wearing your knits when they turn out well.  This was a simple pattern and the yarn turned out quite a piece.

Did I almost forget to mention Angel, my silky terrier!  I didn't have room for both dogs in this chair and my hubby was picture taking and in a hurry!  

Hee, hee.....I bought the exact same yarn as my buddy, Dawn Flynn, KnittingDivaGirl,  same color and all....Noro Furisode which has been discontinued.  Glad she didn't mind.  She's got a great eye for color and we don't run in ALL the same circles.  

Already moved on to about 3 new projects!  knit on sista!

Visit my Etsy store at: http://www.etsy.com/shop/ncknittinchick